I’m not really sure where to begin but I think sharing with you my testimony of the Love and power of our Lord and God would be a pretty good place.
We each have trials and tribulations in our lives and often we find ourselves doubting in ourselves, in our Heavenly Father and that He is there – ALWAYS.
We have HUGE news and would love to share them with you all:
Yes. I guess you can say that when I decide to join the social media life again, I don’t just shuffle back in…I decide to re-join the virtual social life with a BANG!
We are super excited. I’m still semi in shock. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you why: I have always been very vocal about my very own (in)fertility issues. I was diagnosed with too low levels of estrogen back when we first tried to have a baby way back when. After months of no success, I was finally tested and diagnosed and was put on hormone treatments to help me ovulate. Again, we had to wait a few months but then we conceived our oldest: Zaynah. Fast forward to our conception of the twins: Mikalah & Caleb. Same spiel, same problem, same solution. 16+ years of never needing any protection because I just could never conceive on my own anyways. During our first year in Oklahoma (over 7 years ago!) Craig expressed the desire to maybe try again for another baby. The twins by then were about 5. I prayed, I fasted and went to my bishop asking for a blessing to help guide me in finding the right answer whether or not to try again. The answer I received was: No. Our family is complete. Fast forward again. First year in Missouri (now over 2.5 years ago) Craig once again mentioned the desire. Here I was again, on my knees in prayer, fasting and receiving a blessing from my bishop, even talking and consulting with friends I had who had children with a larger age gap, because by then the twins were already 9 years old! Well…my answer yet again was: No. Our family is complete. I felt horrid. I felt like I was letting Craig down. And I even “joked” about this with friends whom I have shared these experiences with because I felt like I was that petulant child asking my Heavenly Father over and over for the same darn thing when he had already given me an answer to said question. I always used it as a perfect example of what a loving and patient parent He is. Well…fast forward to end of March almost April of this year when I jokingly took a home pregnancy test because my PMS symptoms were lasting longer than usual. Turns out, I was already 6 weeks pregnant by then! Yup. I literally almost fell off the potty when I read the results of that stick I peed on. (I didn’t realize that they now make digital versions because I don’t remember seeing those in the stores 12 years ago!) I was full of conflicting emotions: shock, disbelief, excitement, doubt, fear, anxiety, SHOCK…lol
Needless to say: God decided that NOW was the right time and that He alone knows when the right time is and that I should ALWAYS just trust in Him to be there for me, to watch over me, guide and protect me. Or in this case bless me with another beautiful angel to join my crazy Cloward Clan.
I don’t want to call this baby an oops-baby because it isn’t. It was certainly not planned by us (and we sure as heck had the surprise of a lifetime) however it was obviously planned by God; and therefore it is HEAVEN sent.